Free Ebook Necessary Losses: The Loves, Illusions, Dependencies, and Impossible Expectations That All of Us Have to Give Up in Order to Grow, by Judith Viorst
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Necessary Losses: The Loves, Illusions, Dependencies, and Impossible Expectations That All of Us Have to Give Up in Order to Grow, by Judith Viorst
Free Ebook Necessary Losses: The Loves, Illusions, Dependencies, and Impossible Expectations That All of Us Have to Give Up in Order to Grow, by Judith Viorst
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Review
Benjamin Spock, M.D. This perceptive book should absorb and enrich anyone who admits to being human.United Press International The kind of book that belongs in every household. It is simply healthy to have around.Rabbi Harold S. Kushner author of When Bad Things Happen to Good People One of the most sensitive and comprehensive books about the human condition I have read in a long time.
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About the Author
Judith Viorst writes in many different areas: science books, children’s chapter and picture books—including the beloved Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day, which has sold some four million copies; adult fiction and nonfiction including the New York Times bestseller, Necessary Losses; poetry for children and adults; and four musicals. Her most recent books of poetry include What Are You Glad About? What Are You Mad About? and Nearing Ninety.
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Product details
Paperback: 448 pages
Publisher: Simon & Schuster; unknown edition (January 5, 1998)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 9780684844954
ISBN-13: 978-0684844954
ASIN: 0684844958
Product Dimensions:
5.5 x 1.2 x 8.4 inches
Shipping Weight: 12.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review:
4.5 out of 5 stars
139 customer reviews
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#90,003 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
I first came across Judith Viorst's *Necessary Losses* when it first came out in 1986. I was a 26 year old first year MSW student in a clinical program, and took away from the book, which made a great impression upon me, that it was about how friendships change, that there are different friends for different times and places--and that is how I referred to the book for years. Just last year I reread it as a 57 year old who, disillusioned and ready for something new, had long ago left the profession of social work. I was reminded that Viorst's writing is informed by her psychoanalytic training but exudes the warmth and passion that characterize the very best therapists no matter what their theoretical foundation. She is also a great writer--my favorite of her books being one for children and the adults who think like them,*Alexander and the Terrible, No Good, Very Bad Day*-- and in no way felt outdated when I reread the book in 2014. This time, however, the parts that stood out for me were about aging and navigating the inevitable losses that go with a time of life unimaginable to my younger self but all too real for who I am now. And that, to me, makes this book a classic, fresh and new at whatever age you happen to be when you read it.
This book was life-changing. I lost my father when I was seven and was not allowed to grieve. I read this book fifty years later, and it opened the door to all the loss I was not given permission to feel as a child. I could only read it a little at a time, but it allowed the healing I hadn't found earlier. This is an important book on many levels. It';s not an easy book, but it is transformative.I had to read the book a chapter at a time and then reflect on it. I survived quite a bit of loss from the time I was a very small child, and this book helped me to understand the impact of that loss. One or two chapters opened up very deep emotions. I spent one weekend in bed sobbing after reading one. nevertheless, I highly recommend this book to anyone dealing with loss or abandonment issues. It was wonderfully insightful and helped me deal with issues too long buried.
I've been slogging through this book hoping to find some wisdom about loss and how to grow from it. So far it seems primarily psychoanalytical with Freudian ideas forming the basis of the author's world-view. Her prescription for coping with loss seems to be "get over it". I was especially disappointed in her failure to address mothers who were not "good enough" and only children who presumably experience little sibling rivalry. These seem like glaring omissions. I suppose for those who meet the criteria for normal development (the "we" the author writes about) and went through stages of wanting to sexually possess their opposite sex parent or experienced penis or uterus envy there could be valuable stuff here. But for the rest of us I think there are better and more therapeutic books. For instance I've just started "Running on Empty" by Jonice Webb. It's concerns the fallout from growing up with parents who weren't "good enough" and already it seems much more helpful. I really hate not finishing a book but "Necessary Losses" will be the exception.
Easy to read, because the author has a lot of gentle humor to share. Hard to read, because of the emotions that are in the book, and that the book asks you to consider emotionally painful memories. However, the insights it provides is well worth the difficult process. I have already given the book to a friend, who has asked me "why does this person do this?", as the person makes baffling choices and decisions. As this person has some work-related control over both of us, this book has helped me understand that person, as well as myself, somewhat better. If you have to deal with a "control-freak", or have recognized that tendency in yourself, this book may be useful.
I owned this book before and finally donated it to our church book library. We house the homeless for a week every three months in our congregation in a nation-wide program called "Family Promise." A wonderful lady who had been a nurse but due to health problems and a divorce was homeless was staying with us for the week. As she read this book it was a revelation to her about her problems and attitudes in this troubled time in her life. She asked if she could take our copy with her to finish it. I gave it to her and ordered this replacement copy for our library.This is an extremely insightful book for either troubled times in your life or for reviewing you life and wanting to see it from a healthier more mature prospective.
I first read this book many years ago but found I needed it again when going through a difficult period in my life. It explains many things we have to do to reach maturity and the things we lose along the way. I recommend this book to anyone who is struggling with losses in their life.Necessary Losses: The Loves, Illusions, Dependencies, and Impossible Expectations That All of Us Have to Give Up in Order to Grow
This purchase was actually for a friend. The first time I read Necessary Losses was 18 years ago. It helped me work out so much of my childhood traumas and baggage. It provided me a much needed perspective. Much of what I learned has also stayed with me. I have also purchased it for four other friends.
A must-read for all thoughtful persons. The title says it all. NECESSARY losses. So much of life is spent trying to avoid and deny the essential loss-filled state of the human condition. Viorst does an excellent job.
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